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Rediscover Yourself In Motherhood

Tuesday, May 9, 2017-Goh Kai En


Are you feeling like you’ve “lost your identity”? Or are you having a tough time dealing with mom guilt? The most common ways of rediscovering your identity is to acknowledge the fact that you and your priorities have changed. However it is completely normal and okay to feel the lack of freedom and the unfamiliarity with oneself. Here are ways to help you find back your true self again.


1. Nurture yourself


It is entirely okay to have the feeling of guilt when you decide on prioritising yourself more than your kid(s). Start caring about how you look because most of the time that’s how mothers would lose their identity. Ultimately, you are your kids’ role model and by taking care of yourself, you are instilling confidence and self esteem.  Don’t hesitate to give yourself some pampering sessions like going on a shopping spree or facials and spas.


2. Start doing things you used to love


Remember the times when you can hit the gym whenever you want without worrying about other bigger responsibilities? Putting too much pressure on yourself with the children is not ideal because this will lead to less enjoyable motherhood. We can be great mothers while still loving ourselves and pursuing our dreams. A great tip would be to write down your dreams and goals that you would want to achieve and try your best in giving it a shot.


3. Seek for support if it is necessary


This is extremely important. Find someone who will uphold you but at the same time, motivate you. Try not to bottle up your feelings but talk to someone that can keep you accountable, like your own parents or other mothers that you can trust. Not forgetting your husband who is your partner in crime. Other than that, joining a local mother’s group would be ideal. You may meet a lifelong friend and share your burdens with other mothers who are able to reassure you that everything you are going through is normal.


4. Take some time off from your children


Recognise that what you’re doing for your children is already more than enough and start pursuing your hobbies. Not only that gives you more room to breathe, it can help promote independence in your child by helping them realize that mommy isn’t going to be around every time.


5. Share what you love to do with your children


This is a good way for mothers who would want to spend their time with the kids at the same time doing what you enjoy. If you love gardening, baking or exercising, get your kids involved. Let them cut out cookie shapes using cookie cutters when baking or pulling out weeds together while gardening. In this way, it will create a stronger bond between you and your children.


“There’s no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one.” – Jill Churchill. Dear Mothers, take time to appreciate yourself and know that you are deeply treasured because everyday is Mother’s Day.

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